Did You Ever Hit a Wall?

I had a meltdown yesterday and received this from my Mary Kay Director, Kathy Lee. Most of our frustration comes from lack of patience and lack of persistence.
Hope this encourages you as it did me.
(The video is at the end.)
The Climb 
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC;

these lyrics are submitted by Mike Maven
these lyrics are last corrected by nick jonas lover101

Full of His Joy

 There are seasons in our lives when so much is going on often coming at us from directions that we wonder why. We do a quick checklist of what we have done, we repent, but the barrage continues.
Now we have a choice. Go up or go down. The choice is ours. 
We each have 24 hours a day. We can choose to be happy or depressed. As a young adult, I was hospitalized several times for depression. So I am not dismissing the seriousness of it. However, I gave more power to depression than to joy. I became overwhelmed by life especially during the season that I was a single mother with small children. I became overwhelmed because I tried to do everything in my own strength. The truth is that wasn't possible. 

Joy isn't a feeling. It is not the same as happiness.  Joy isn't a smile or a belly laugh. However,  the most important thing to note is that Joy is not affected  by our circumstances. It's anchor is deep within. Joy comes out of rejoicing. It cannot not be fabricated. That is why He says He inhabits the praises of His people. When you rejoice in the Lord, there is a gratitude that springs forth, a knowing that gives us, confidence and hope. 

When you have this joy, you will be  joyful regardless of  circumstances, regardless if things are going well or not.

John 15:9  "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.  ⁽¹⁰⁾  "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.  ⁽¹¹⁾  "These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.  ⁽¹²⁾  "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

 Oftentimes we are so full of the cares of the world that there isn't room for joy. Joy comes out of abiding, not drivenness to get through it. We must rest in Him. 

Joy comes from relationship with Him, not a nod in His direction. 

I am telling you that when you are full of the love of God is like wearing a costly designer perfume. It permeates the room. It isn't you at all. It is His love percolating within spilling over in joy.We can't help but share it.

When we experience His love, you WILL want to pass that love on to others. It's a free gift. 

Have you received the Father's love for yourself. I promise you that no matter how much you have received,  there is more. It cannot be contained. That is why the more we receive, the more we pour it on others. 

Jesus said, "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love;" It is a conditional promise. Keep His commandments THEN you will abide in His love. Then His joy will be in you and your joy will be FULL. 

Happiness is a Choice

I am preparing for a Mary Kay booth in Columbus tomorrow. It is near where my granddaughter lives so I want to increase my business in that direction so that I can see her and her daughter more often. Also, she has a son on the way. 

It is imperative that I make Director. 

Some checks that we had earned did not come. Other anticipated earnings did not come either.  All in all it was about a $1500 drop for the month.

Ray is concerned about the stability of his job, because the new state regulations caused them to increase the student fees by $1200 which will not be covered by their student grants and loans. Since most of the people who take truck driving training are unemployed, enrollment may drop so significantly that he will be no longer needed. 

Ray has always been faithful to find another job, but I am his help-meet.

So I am pushing past this self-hatred, fear of failure and self-sabotage and going for it. I praise God that I have this Mary Kay opportunity. Mary Kay pays you well to help other women. Really the only limit you have is the one that you put on yourself. 

Each of us are challenged. Some by health. Some by relationships and others in the financial arena. But they do not have to overwhelm you and take you out. God has provided an escape route. 

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].1 Cor. 10:13

Zephaniah tells us that he inhabits the praises of His people so I am singing and Zephaniah tells us that He sings songs of deliverance over me at night. Wow! Singing is good! 

It sure breaks up a pity party, too! 

Happiness is a choice!

Deserving the Best

Several weeks ago we were decorating an area of the cafeteria to look like a coffee shop for Pleasant Valley Days. I dug out some pictures, arug and mirror that were left behind. I called the person that they belonged to and asked if we could use them and she said yes. Then boldly I asked her when PVD were over could I use them in my office as she had hers.
She readily agreed. I was delighted at the prospect of redecorating my cube. I love decorating anyhow. Well, it has been three weeks and not one picture has been hung. I had to recognize I was having problems with my "deserve level" again.
We all have a self-imposed ceiling. We rise and fall to the level we feel we deserve. It is a mirror image of how we view ourselves.
If we go too high, oftentimes we will self-sabotage our effort to bring us back to our comfort zone.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Maureen Dowd
Sometimes you have to crash through the ceiling to reset the bar. Yet we may get bumped and bruise, but the point is, we will never be the same.
I never will forget when as a single mom of three, I got my AA degree. A wealthy friend of mine gave me her condo at Amelia Island Plantation for myself for a week. I had never lived like that before and even then I did not explore all there was to offer because I felt like I didn't deserve it. Nevertheless, when I left a neighborhood of millionaires to return to the inner city, I was not the same person. Like a rubber band that had been stretched, I could not return to my original shape.
So today I am re-examining those thoughts that tell me what I deserve. Some of those thoughts have to be incinerated so they cannot return. I need to replace them with better, higher thoughts.

Rejoice

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

 ⁵Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

 ⁶Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 ⁷And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 ⁸Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.Phil. 4:4-8

Can we pray praising Him for everything and ask for nothing? Can we rejoice in ALL things? 

Each circumstance requires a decision. Fear or faith. If we choose faith, then we can rejoice because we have relinquished it to someone bigger than the circumstance.

Without faith it is impossible to please God. Fear and faith do not mix. They are like oil and water. So which will you choose today?

Are You Crabby?

When you go crabbing, you need a bucket with a perforated lid. When you catch your first crab, put it in bucket and quickly put the lid on lest it escape. However, once you have put two or three in the bucket, the lid is no longer necessary. You see if one crab attempts to escape from the bucket, the other crabs will pull it back down. If they can't have freedom, neither can their fellow crab. Sometimes, the crabs seem almost sinister,  waiting until the crab has almost escaped before yanking it back into the bucket.

 Talk about misery loves company.

Apparently the crabs are unaware of the boiling pot awaiting them. If they were would they pull each other back into the bucket, instead of helping escape artist? Or do they have that moronic mentality of if I can't have it, neither can you?

Those with that “crab mentality” are dream killers. I have seen it when people are doing their walkout and trying to take their life back after a devastating illness. Sadly, I have seen it in Mary Kay when someone is all excited about making some extra money and paying off their debts or maybe they have captured the big dream. Friends and relatives tell them they are foolish for even trying. They sound like Job's friends with the constant accusations. 

When we can step beyond the accusations, the pronouncements of doom, we can walk in plan that God had for our life before the foundations of the world. It is "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..." 
The following video shows a young man who "regardless of his hard life, passionately runs towards what he really wants.

Complete, Not Compete

I stayed up to the wee hours in the morning dealing with some yucky stuff churning inside of me. It is frustrating when you think something is dealt with and resolved and up it comes again.
In my Mary Kay business I have purposed in my heart to live its motto "enriching women's lives." I am to do that by helping to complete themselves, find those missing pieces or repairing the broken ones. Working your Mary Kay business is an excellent way to confront fears, deal with that unloving spirit that causes low self-esteem and establish healthy relationships.
By and large women's business relationships are very competitive. Where there is competition, there is separation. So I asked the Lord to show me how I could complete and not compete. 
Let me quick to say, I am not the completer, the Lord is, but He has used me to teach women how to see their value and to learn to love themselves right where they are. They don't have to stay there, but their journey does need to be one of love and not drivenness. 
Now once again I am at a crossroads where I can go into Director in Qualification. To be a director just enables me to reach even more women and share the Father's love, and it allows me to take some financial stress off of Ray. Lord knows he has carried more than his fair share these past 32 years.  I was in DIQ this time last year and failed. I have reviewed and repented for my goofiness. Once again I had shifted into drivenness, performance and competition. It did not honor the Father.
I was all set at the beginning of the month to "make it happen." Big pitfall- thinking it was all about me. Now the finish line looms ahead and I have to make some course corrections. 
Made a huge one this morning in our worship service. What a powerful service. There was a time of re-dedication (course correction). 
Then it became crystal clear. 
If I just worship Him, my heart, my motives will be pure. 
For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south, but God is the judge; he putteth down one and setteth up another. Ps.75:6-7 
Then Pastor Anita asked, "Could you just pray praising Him without asking for a thing?" 
If I truly live this song, everything will be taken care of. My heart will be pure. His timing will be perfect. It is really comes down to am I willing to live a surrendered life?

Arise, Shine

As a teenager I was in Girls' Auxiliary and our verse was Arise, Shine for thy light has come (and the the glory of the Lord is upon you.)Isaiah 60:1 We said the first part, not the second.
The life happened.
 Over time I quit both arising and I quit shining even though Jesus tells us that we are the light of the world.
About five years ago, I looked up the word Arise and found it meant:

1) to rise, arise, stand, rise up, stand up

a) (Qal)

1) to arise

2) to arise (hostile sense)

3) to arise, become powerful

4) to arise, come on the scene

5) to stand

a) to maintain oneself

b) to be established, be confirmed

c) to stand, endure

d) to be fixed

e) to be valid

f) to be proven

g) to be fulfilled

h) to persist

i) to be set, be fixed

b) (Piel)

1) to fulfil

2) to confirm, ratify, establish, impose

c) (Polel) to raise up

d) (Hithpael) to raise oneself, rise up

e) (Hiphil)

1) to cause to arise, raise

2) to raise, set up, erect, build

3) to raise up, bring on the scene

4) to raise up, rouse, stir up, investigate

5) to raise up, constitute

6) to cause to stand, set, station, establish

7) to make binding

8) to carry out, give effect to

f) (Hophal) to be raised up

Wow! Why wasn't that taught? It doesn't mean get up and twinkle like a star. It means to get up and GIVE light.

For God so loved the world, He GAVE.

At a Mary Kay meeting recently, the Director played Firework by Katy Perry. Although truly a secular song, I thing it belt out the Great Commission. Even in my work as I go into qualification as a director, I want to ignite women to be all they were created to be.

If you have been sleepwalking through your life or worse yet, given up, I hope this song will ignite to be His Firework.

He Makes All Things Beautiful In His Time

I had spoken at a retreat sharing my story of how I was able to break loose from abuse. Many women who had also experienced abuse were set free that day. My heart sang.
After the conference we take a bus back home and gather with others who have experience the Cursillo weekend and we celebrate together. There my best friend, Mary, and my husband, Ray, met me. What a powerful time of celebration.
As we walked to the car, then and only then did they tell me that my father had fallen, was in the hospital and the prognosis was not good. Immediately we made the hour long drive.
I was tormented with the whys. Dad and I had made our peace. He had been my first abuser. Abuse opened by a spirit of victimization had been a way of life for 25 years. The man who was supposed to cover me and nurture me could not because he himself had never been covered nor nurtured.
Because I was able to forgive him and be free from my past, I was often asked to speak into other women's lives.
Now Daddy was dying. I wanted more time, more restoration.
He was in a coma when I arrived. I really didn't know what to do. So I began to talk to him. I told him about the women I had ministered to the day before and how God had taken the ugly and made something beautiful how of it. I told him that I loved him.
Then I just began to sing softly to him.
Tears trickled down his cheeks as I sang the following song.

Bring Me Flowers While I Am Alive

It is disappointing when you have six children and several adult grandchildren and receive not even a birthday card except faithful Michael who saw to it that Sarah had one to give me. (Got FB posts instead. lol) Yet this year I WAS OKAY. I WAS NOT DERAILED. I am a good mother and Nana and if they choose not to acknowledge that on my birthday, well, frankly it means things more important on their plate.
One of the things the Lord had shown me this year is how I imprison people with my expectations. I expect people to do certain things and when they don't it is an open door for me to be bitter or my heart to be broken.
When I gave that up and recognized that Jer 29:11 says God knows the plans He has for them, NOT ME, a prison door opened.
It is like I have been protected in a bubble since Sunday.
The service Sunday closed with the Chuck Girard song, I Will and Ron told how he often sings songs to Jenny, his wife, who has Pick's disease. He has to do everything for her. I mean everything. He always has a good attitude about it. He told how he used to sing this song to her and she would smile. Then he asked them to play it again and imagine Jesus singing it to you. It says I will love you forever, and I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time.
Well, I just melted. It carried me all day.
When I heard I need you forever, I heard I have plans for you forever.
Went to the dental lab Monday without an appointment and he completely rebuilt my partial for only $80. A replacement would have been $1500.
Monday I went to Amazon and ordered an Amazon MP3 download and listened to it over and over.
I have always been tormented because I moved up here and left my family even though I knew it was necessary for me to get well. I always thought about moving closer. Well, Monday I thought, WHY?"
My whole church family sang Happy Birthday to me. My family that I birthed did not. I live where I am celebrated. That nine years of torment is gone.
Tuesday I listened to it over and over until we went to Social Security and when the lady said we would get no check for three month,($3,000 loss of income) I heard the Lord singing in my heart, "I will love you forever, I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time." I had complete peace.
Curstie brought Caitlin home and a cake she had baked for me. I thought that was so sweet.
I was singing that song as I got dressed for work this morning. As I walked across the deck to the car this morning, I thought of the Lawrence Welk show. (weird) I heard the cork pop and heard the Lord tell me (not audibly) to bring bubbles of joy today everywhere I go. I have never been happier.
Today someone asked Ray to look at some work but they had no money. He has probably done a thousand dollars worth for her already. Long story, short. he traded the work for a gas stove (our last light bill which is due Friday is $490) and a lap top. She was going to sell the stove for $200 and the laptop for $75. Home Depot had quoted her $800 so they were both happy.
"I will love you forever, I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time."
These are presents that Ray could not have bought me for my birthday. But God could.
These are things that we had been praying about.
He has two moving jobs and a major window job coming in the next few months. They will net him no less than $1500 of the missing $3,000.
I think this whole mess is going to push me past my fears in Mary Kay and this is going to be my best month ever. The fear has been replaced with the Father's love. Plus I get to spill bubbles of joy all over them. The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Once again this week I taught Unloving and it was with a new level of freedom. Something new has been birthed.
I saw that Isaiah 61:1 says the Spirit of the Lord IS upon me. Not it is going to be on me when I get everything right. It is on me NOW. I need to appropriate it.
Friday a friend called and said she would like to have a Birthday Tea for me at a new Tea Shop that had opened.
Fresh pink long stemmed roses were waiting for me. We wore hats and had the most delightful feast of tea treats from raspberry scones with lemon curd to chicken salad on a mini-croissant.
As I was leaving to go to the tea, my neighbor, Mary, asked me where I was going. I told her about the tea and invited her to come. She declined. Yet in the middle of our celebration, she walked in with a vase of fresh cut flowers.
This extemporaneous show of love was a precious ending to my birthday week. Friends gathered to celebrate my life. I left with gifts, cards and lots of flowers. Flowers I can enjoy now while I live the day set before me.
Take time to day to tell someone you love them even if you think they already know it.

God's Masterpiece

When a sculpture begins his work, He takes a large stone and rhythmically begins removing the pieces that do not match the vision he has for the piece. When he gets to a roughing stage, he changes the tool and begins to make more precise cuts to give the piece more definition.
Eventually the sculptor has changed the stone from a rough block into the general shape of the finished statue. The tools used now change to enhance the shape into its final form. The sculptor may use broad, sweeping strokes to remove excess blemishes like small chips or dust. He can use a riffler is a smaller variation of the rasp to create details such as folds of clothing or locks of hair.
God may bring us to places where huge hunks ar chipped away. We may now resemble the person we are to be, but we aren't there yet.
During the walkout process, as we yield to the Holy Spirit, yield to those set in authority over us, a spiritual rasp is used and the dings and knicks are erased.
But God doesn't do anything halfway. We may even be satisfied with ourselves at this state, but God sees the end picture. Because we are looking back at what we were, and God is looking forward at His image of us, the pictures do not always match.
The final stage of the carving process is polishing. The sculpture is now a recognizable figure, but it is still not finished. Now comes the the polishing process. He may first use sandpaper, but ultimately will use emery cloth.
These are the irritations in our lives.
Pay attention. He is using stone to polish stone. In other words, he is using other people rubbing up against us. Emery is a stone that is harder and rougher than the sculpture media. Do you have any difficult people in your life?
They may be there to polish you.
This wearing away of all the roughness, however minute, brings out the color of the stone, reveals patterns not yet seen and adds a lustre.
Finally, oxides are often used to give the stone a highly reflective exterior.The final stage of the carving process is polishing. Think about it. The sculpture is now a recognizable figure, but it is still not finished. Now comes the the polishing process. He may first use sandpaper, but ultimately will use emery cloth.
Pay attention. He is using stone to polish stone. Emery is a stone that is harder and rougher than the sculpture media. This wearing away of all the roughness however minute brings out the color of the stone, reveals patterns not yet seen and adds a lustre. Finally, oxides are often used to give the stone a highly reflective exterior. An oxide is The final stage of the carving process is polishing. Think about it. The sculpture is now a recognizable figure, but it is still not finished. Now comes the the polishing process. He may first use sandpaper, but ultimately will use emery cloth.
Pay attention. He is using stone to polish stone. Emery is a stone that is harder and rougher than the sculpture media. This wearing away of all the roughness however minute brings out the color of the stone, reveals patterns not yet seen and adds a lustre. Finally, oxides are often used to give the stone a highly reflective exterior. Because oxide means it has oxygen, I see this as the breath of God. This is when I am really listening, yielding and being changed from glory to glory.
I realize this is just a metaphor of God's powerful process. The stone does not truly yield, but we must. Being changed from glory to glory requires yielding to the process and absolute surrender. It is a process, but I am finding each time I surrender, the next time I am challenged, it is easier to surrender.
His ways are so much higher than mine. Why would I ever choose less than the best when He gives it so freely?
I want to be God's Masterpiece.
I saw the following skit at church one night and while I was writing this, God brought it to my rememberance. Hope you will take time to watch.

Life Is Like A Cup of Coffee - Inspirational Video Movie

If I Were Brave

Fear is a thief! It will rob you of your life, the life truly intended you to have. There are over 10,000 fears ranging from fear of abandonment to fear of flying.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
When I first married Ray, he frequently drove my car. I would get in MY car on Monday morning and I would hear the radio blaring twangy country music. Not my favorite. So I would change the station to the easy listening genre I enjoyed. I simply chose not to listen to that station.
But it took me another 25 years to do that with the thoughts bombarding my head. If they aren't coming from God, I change the "station."
Philippians 4:8 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
So when thoughts come bombarding in to rob you of your faith, rob you of your future, change the station and think on these things.

The Love Disclaimer

I have been meditating on 1 Corinthians 13 for several months, but I always began with verse 4, because I thought that was where I needed the most improvement.
Then one Sunday I watched as a young father struggled to calm his son. He was clueless. He turned to me and said, "I don't know what else to do."
I whispered, "Just love him."
I thought how the young man repeatedly looks for opportunities to express himself whether to share an exhortation or sing on the praise team all the while leaving his wife with the all of the children. (In our church, the children are in the service. There is no children's church.)
Suddenly what began as a critical thought, boomeranged back. I thought of the past 30 years especially how I did high profile things while neglecting my own family. Only when we operate in divination instead of discernment is this possible. Divination is a counterfeit for the truth, but sadly on the outside it looks real.
When a person is being trained as a cashier, they make them count money for hours on end. The purpose is to teach them the feel and look of money, then instinctively when someone gives them a counterfeit they will immediately know the difference.
Maybe I spent too few hours counting His ways.
Here are those beginning three verses:
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Here is my tongue in cheek, finger pointing back to me transliteration:
1 Though I sing on the Praise Team and help with the children's choir, but have not God's love inside of me and sung silly songs and laughed with my own children, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, attend every church service and even teach clsses and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not tended to my family's needs in love and with joy, I am nothing.
3 And though I cook meals for the new mothers, and bring the best covered dish to the potluck, but I have not prepared an awesome meal for my own family and given them my time, it profits me nothing.
I am on the south end of life's journey now and I don't get a "do-over" with my young family, but I look around the church and I see mamas and daddies who could use encouragement and discernment of what is really important. They are young enough to get a do-over.

The Eye of the Needle

A friend send me a message. She was perplexed because she felt like she and her husband had been obedient to the Lord yet things were not good in the natural realm particularly in their finances.
As I was driving to Alabama this morning to visit my granddaughter and her daughter, I was praying for them. The Lord reminded me of this prophecy. It has been set to music by the Kendalls who minister in Israel. It is a powerful reminder that we only see in part.
For the past several months I have sensed a powerful paradigm shift coming. Whether in my personal life, my church, I do not know, but something is about to change. This is a healthy reminder to prepare our hearts.

Charlotte Baker in 1981
Worship Symposium
Dallas, TX

...The Eye of the Needle ...
The Gate of Worship

The Ultimate Choice
"I have brought this people together today to make unto you a choice. You can minister unto men...or you can minister unto the King of Glory!"

I stood among the sons of men, strong and tall. My heart was filled with enthusiasm. My life was given to the purposes of God. Upon that day, I said to the Lord, "I will do mighty exploits in the name of my God." The Lord came unto me and He said, "What is it, son of man, that thou would have?" I said, "Lord, if I could only be among those who play sweetly upon an instrument and who sing well in the house of the Lord, then I would do great things for my God."

The Lord came to me and He gave unto me the desire of my heart. He let me play and He let me sing. I saw the day when the hearts of men were moved by that thing the Lord had given unto me. After hearts of men were moved, I stood back and I said to myself, "Now I will be content for I have been able to move the hearts of men."

But in my secret hour I bowed my head before my God and said, "Lord, You have given me what I asked for but my heart is heavy. I have a longing for something more."

He came again unto me in the night season. He asked me again, "Son of man, ask Me again the thing that thou would have of Me." I said, "Lord I see men bowed by burdens low. I see hearts that are broken. I see sadness and discouragement. Oh give me the power of the spoken word that I might speak the word and their hearts be delivered." The Lord came unto me and said, "Son of man, I have given thee the things which thou hast desired."

With great joy, I marched before the people of God. In my youth and in my enthusiasm, I spoke the Word and men were delivered. I spoke the Word and their hearts were made whole. I knew what it was to bind up the broken hearted and to pour in the oil of joy replacing their mourning.

While men were yet praising Him, glorifying His name, I went back to my secret chamber, I bowed my head in sorrow. I said, "Oh my God, my God, I am not satisfied."

He came again unto me and He said, "Son of man, what is it that thou desireth of Me?" And I said, "Oh my God, give me power in my hands that as You did, I might lay my hands upon the sick and see the healing flow." He said unto me, "It is done as thou has commanded."

God healed the sick. I went to the nations of the earth and I saw the sick raised from their beds. I saw pain and suffering go away. I was rejoicing as I went to my secret place. I bowed my head before my God. I said, "Now my God, I will be satisfied for you have given me that which I have desired." No sooner had the words come out of my mouth when the heart within me began to ache and cry. I said, "God, I don't understand. Again my heart is sad. Lord, will You, just one more time, give me the thing I ask of Thee?" he said, "It is done."

"God, I desire to go against principalities and powers, the powers of the wickedness of this world and spiritual darkness in high places. He said, "Surely I give it unto thee. Now go." So I went and the Lord allowed me to go into dens of iniquity, the holes and dives where men hide from the light because of the sin and evil that is upon them. There was a day when I saw demons cry out at the very presence of the power of God that rested on me.

Then I went back to my secret place broken. I said, "God, I have asked You for all that I desired and still my heart is not yet satisfied. Nor do I feel that I have touched the thing that You have called me to. In my youth I have expended myself with all the things that my heart had desired."

Then one more time a gracious and loving God visited me in the night season. He said, "Now - what is it that thou dost desire?" In brokenness of heart, I bowed before Him and I said, "God, only that thing which You desire to give unto me."

He came unto me and said, "Come with Me and I will take you on a journey." He took me past my friends. He took me past those with whom I had come into the house of the Lord. He took me into a desolate place. He caused me to go into a place alone in the wilderness. I said, "Oh my God, what are you doing to me? You have cut me off from those I love." He said, "I take thee to the place where all men must come if their heart's cry is to be fulfilled." At a certain hour, I bowed before a gate that is called...

The Eye of the Needle, The gate of Worship!

There before the eye of the Needle I heard the voice of the Lord say, "Bow low." So I bowed lower. He said "Yet lower. Thou does not go low enough." So I went as low as I could possibly go.

But I had upon my back my books of learning. I had with me my instruments of music. I had with me my gifts and abilities. He said unto me, "Thou has too much, thou can not go through this gate."

I said, "But God, You have given me these books. You have given me these abilities." He said, "Drop them. or thou dost not go."

So I dropped them. I went through a very small gate that is called "the eye of the needle." As I went through this gate, I heard the voice of the Lord say, "Now rise to the other side." As I rose, a very strange thing happened to me. You see, the gate which was so small on one side that I must lay aside everything, was now so wide I could not fill it. As I stood in the presence of the Lord I said, "God, what is this thing that You have done unto me, for my soul is now satisfied?"

He said, "Thou has come through the gate of worship. Now come up to the circle of the earth & I will show thee a great mystery. I will reveal unto thee the thing that I doing among the sons of men."

The Spirit of the Lord caught me away. He took me to the circle of the earth, higher than where the eagle flies, beyond where the clouds can rumble, beyond where the sun shines or the moon finds her path. There at the throne of my God, He said, "Look down upon My people."

I saw strange things. I saw my companions gathered around a very small gate that is, "the eye of the needle, the gate of worship." I saw them wringing their hands and crying. They were saying one to another, "But God has given us these instruments of war. This sword is my sword and I will work with it against the enemy to bring him down. I cannot go through this gate, for, if I go through this gate, I must put down my sword. God has called me to be a warrior and therefore, I will not do it."

And I heard another one say, ""Me? Lay down my instruments of music? Lay down all God has given me, just to go through that silly little gate, to be nothing but a bare man who comes out the other side stripped of everything? I cannot do this thing."

I saw them as they stood aside in their pride, afraid to bow themselves before a very small gate.

Then I saw again, as the Lord brought me closer to the gate. I saw a man bow low, laying down everything that he had. As he came through the very wide gate on the other side, his instruments of music were there. His sword was there. His books were there. The power was there.

The Word of the Lord came to me, "Go now and tell this people before you, I have given unto this people extreme talents and much ability. But I say unto you today, if you do not come through the very small gate, which is the gate of worship, and bow low and lay before me thine instruments, thy talents, abilities, vision and power, thou shall always be among those who will only be able to minister to the hearts of men, and bless the hearts of men.

But there is a gate open to the Church in this hour, a very small gate. And through this gate, only men and women who are worshippers will go. These people will lay their talents before their God. These people will say, "God, we will be Your worshippers." Through that wide gate they will come and they will arise on the other side, not to minister unto men, but to minister unto their God.

I have brought you together this day, to make unto you a choice. You can minister unto men and I will cause you to sway the hearts of men with your talent. Or, you can go through a very small gate, that is "the eye of the needle, the gate of worship," and while making new worshippers, you will minister unto the King of Kings and Lord of lords!"


__________________

How Do I Love Me?

If God gave you a To Do list with only two items on it, could you finish it?
Before you speak too quickly, let me show you the list.
Matthew 22:37-40 (King James Version)
37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
I am going to approach this backwards, because most of you have received enough sermons about loving God above all else. All that resulted is guilt that you don't love enough. That's probably true BUT maybe you don't know what love looks like.
What if the people that were set over you to nurture you and love you, either wouldn't or didn't know how or were self-absorbed they chose not to. Even more likely they simply duplicated the love they were given. For most that was a faulty pattern.
So let's look at the real thing.
1 Cor. 13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
How do I love me? Let me count the ways.
I dare you to make a checklist with following qualities:
1. Longsuffering
2. Kind
3. Does not envy
4. Does not parade itself (Add to that- Does not defend its position)
5. Not puffed up
6. Does not behave rudely
7. Does not seek its own
8. Is not provoked
9. Thinks NO evil
10. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth
11. Bears all things
12. Believes all things
13. Hopes all things
14. Endures all things
15. Never fails.
Now draw three or four columns to the right. If you have children, you may need more.
At the head of the first column, write your name. How can we ever love another if we are hard on ourselves all of the time and never feel that we have done enough. Now put the people in your life that you interact with at a significant level. This would include your spouse, boss, children etc.
Now for the next seven days, keep track of how you love yourself and others.
Each day I will be back to encourage you in this new discovery of love.

God's Spiritual Diet Plan (Part 5 of 5)

For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. Romans 14:17
You can take someone who eats perfectly and they have no control over their weight whether too fat or too skinny.
That is because we are a triune being- spirit, soul and body.
We need rightousnesss, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. If the person is on a rigid diet but full of bitternes or unforgivenesss, it will be for naught.
Righteousnes is integrity, virtue, purity of life, rightness, correctness of thinking feeling, and acting.
One of the definitions of peace in the Strong's is: the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is.
Examine that. Assured of your salvation. Fears nothing. Content in whatever state you are in.
Joy in the Holy Ghost: Dependent on your relationship from Him. This isn't a joy that comes out of an event, it is a joy that comes out of relationship with Him. You cannot not experience that joy if you are a legalist and are in constant black and white thinking.
If any one of these characteristics-righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost- is missing it will affect you on a physiological level. But we ignore the spiritual and do more exercise, change our diets, and get into more bitterness and frustration which further slows down our metabolism and amps up our cortisol levels so we can't take our peace.
I have learned that in order to establish righteousness in my life, I have to give up my right to be right. I do not have to defend myself. I am to walk in humility before the Lord and He will be my defender.
[Because of] his strength will I wait upon thee: for God [is] my defense. Psalm 59:9
Because of years of abuse, I lived in a state of hyper-vigilance. Always checking my surroundings even if I was in a store to see that I was safe. Recently I recognized that I was not trusting God to keep me safe. If I used wisdom in where I was going and how I was getting there, he had my back. I could relax.
Living in a continued state of hyper-vigilance keeps your body amped up and your cortisol drips continually. This destroys your immune system. You are prone to disease and have little energy.
Enter Addiction to make you feel good.
Isn't that insidious?
When we put our trust in Him, we can relax, He's got our back. We no longer have to be in charge of everything. We can take our peace. Then our body comes into peace and we are strengthen.
For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. Romans 14:17

God's Spiritual Diet Plan (Part 4 of 5)

Proverbs 4:20-27 (King James Version)

20My son, (my daughter) attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
24Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
Ponder here means to prepare the way while path means course of action. So prepare the way of the course of action for your feet.
We are always in such a hurry to get on with our life that we fail to prepare. The best way to prepare your heart for any journey is with worship and digging in His Word. The Bible is not a quick read.
Isaiah 28:9-10 (New King James Version)

9 “ Whom will he teach knowledge?
And whom will he make to understand the message?
Those just weaned from milk?
Those just drawn from the breasts?
10 For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept,
Line upon line, line upon line,
Here a little, there a little.”
The preparation takes maturity. We cannot be running ahead of God. For years that was the way I did things. I would hear a part of a Word, and run with it. It is "precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, Line upon line, line upon line, Here a little, there a little."
Rebellion wants the Full Meal Deal and we want it our way.
You will see this in all addictions. The addict thinks they are the exception or this one time won't matter.
In the previous post, I quoted Kathy Helou who said, "Anything that is an enemy to your body is an enemy to God's plan for your life."
I heard that a year ago. Now I am applying it to my life. Why did I take so long?
Again FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of not being in control. Fear is a sin because it leaves no room for faith.
Hebrews 11:6 says, " But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Prepare the way by excising every vestige of fear out of your life AS HE REVEALS IT. You don't need to go on a witch hunt. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you areas of your life where fear reigns. Then be faithful to deal with it. Repent for entertaining it.
If you agree that your body is the temple of the Lord, it is time to evict these illegal squatters. Cast them out.
And if you blow it again, just repent and receive your forgiveness.
Prepare the way by filling the temple with Praise, Worship, Word and His Love. This is how you establish your ways.
27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.
This is your responsibility. You have to choose not to stretch the parameters of what God is calling you to do. For instance, if God calls you to a 21 day Daniel Fast, don't say but I am going to have meat on Sundays. You see that is how an addict thinks. Always looking for an exception and up-sell. If He calls you to a season of eating low gylcemic foods for a season to
bring your body into align after years of a anything goes eating regimen, don't add until He says add.
Isaiah 1:18-20 says, "18Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
God is not trying to deprive you of any good thing. His heart for you is an abundant life.
Let us prepare the way.

God's Spiritual Diet Plan (Part 3 of 5)

Proverbs 4:20-27 (King James Version)

20My son, (my daughter) attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
24Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

4Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
That is just as we have to guard our heart, we must look at one of the gates to our heart, our mouth. Perverse means fraudulent and deceitful.
Proverbs 19:1 says, "Better [is] the poor that walketh in his integrity, than [he that is] perverse in his lips, and is a fool."
In the free online dictionary by Farlex it says, "A false representation of a matter of fact—whether by words or by conduct, by false or misleading allegations, or by concealment of what should have been disclosed—that deceives and is intended to deceive another so that the individual will act upon it to her or his legal injury.
Fraud is commonly understood as dishonesty calculated for advantage. A person who is dishonest may be called a fraud."
God's Word is absolute. There are no white lies. Are you living a life of integrity or one of a fraud?
Matt 5:37 says. "But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."
Does your word mean anything or are you saying what you think people want to hear?
Let's bring it a little closer. Do you tell yourself the truth? Sometimes we live in a state of denial with an addiction. We say, "I can quit any time I want>'
Is that really the truth?
Show me. In reality it is that froward mouth.
Why do we boast, exaggerate, tell half truths, accuse? Very simply, it is fear. Fear of man-fear of rejection, fear of not fitting in,, fear of not meeting someone's expectations-. Shouldn't we speak each word as if Father God were listening? He is you know.
I have found that when I speak words that are not pleasing to Him, I have a need to put something sweet in my mouth. It is as if I think/believe that the bitterness of my words will be sweetened by sugar.
25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
I sometimes get into trouble spiritually because I am looking at others instead of my Father. Whether I am comparing myself to someone else to see if I measure up or critiquing someone else's behavior, it is all sin.
I was in abusive situations over 25 years of my life. I learned to be hyper-vigilant, always checking to see if I was safe. What resulted was that I became in charge of my safety. There was no need to trust God, I was in charge. Having to be in charge all of the time comes from fear. If I don't do, who will? If I don't do it, things will fall apart? If I don't do it, fill in the blank. When I was in that mode, I had become a god to myself.
It was very humbling to recognize that, even more humbling to recognize that even with all of the Word I knew in my head, there was a lack of trust in God to love me, take care of me and protect me.
During part of that that season, I lived in the Dallas, TX area. I was asked to do some interviews at a Christian concert. I don't remember all of the people I interviewed, but I remember the one with Michael W. Smith. When he walked into the room, he brought God with him. He was a vessel of His glory. During the interview, he said quite pointedly that we have a responsibility to take care of our bodies as temples of God. It was said in love and it pierced my heart, but I quickly dismissed it. I did not let my eyes look right on.
I chose not to take to take responsibility for my sin.
Nearly fifteen years later I would hear Mary Kay National Sales Director Kathy Helou say, "Anything that is an enemy to your body, is an enemy to God's plan for your life."
I have an addiction to carbs. I cannot quit without God's help.
I lift my eyes up to the source of my help.

God's Spiritual Diet Plan (Part 2 of 5)

Proverbs 4:20-27 (King James Version)

20My son, (my daughter) attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
24Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

Today we are going to review with verses 23-24.
It is with your heart that you hear God, not with our physical ears.
Have you ever programmed your cell phone to call people by your voice commands? I can take your cell phone and say the same name and the phone will not recognize my voice. Our voices are as different as our fingerprints.
There are many voices clamoring to get your attention. To hear the voice of God you must keep your heart with all diligence.
That means paying attention to who you are listening to. In Genesis 3:8-11 after eating the fruit, Adam and Eve hid themselves when they heard the voice of God. When He asked why, Adam said because he was naked.
God then asked, "Who told you that?"
When my pastor taught us this illustration, I began making it a practice of challenging some of the things I was hearing in my heart. If it didn't bring me peace, I would challenge myself with "Who told you that?"
I am walking out of a lot of drivenness and performance. Sometimes I feel pushed to do things, even to meet other's expectations, but it is not God asking me to do these things. The person I need to please is God. What is He asking me to do.
With all diligence means to post a guard around your heart. Build a wall around it.
Proverbs 25:28 He that [hath] no rule over his own spirit [is like] a city [that is] broken down, [and] without walls.
No diligence. Yet in verse 23 says Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. This is the key to happiness. The issues of life means the fountain of life of happiness according to the Strong's Concordance.
Put a guard on your heart. See it as your personal gated community. Let only those people and things who honor God come in. Yes, there will be times when God will send you out, but your spirit man will be a walled sanctuary where you can commune with your Father.
No matter what addiction you need to overcome whether television and computers or cocaine, we must guard our hearts. When we give our heart back to the Father and realize how precious it is, we will have that "gated community of fellowship".

God's Spiritual Diet Plan (Part 1 of 4)

Proverbs 4:20-27 (King James Version)

20My son, (my daughter) attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
24Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

We are body, soul and spirit. It does no good for me to eat properly if my spirit is deprived and my soul is on a binge.
We have to hear God's voice for ourselves. Verse 20 says attend which says pay attention and incline means to bow. Today I have purposed to pay attention to what He is saying and to come in humility. I am not going through all of these verses today for I assure you they have not all come as rhema to my spirit yet. Yet I am listening.
It is sacred to hear the voice of the Lord. I am not talking about a booming voice, I am talking about that quiet knowing. A peaceful knowing that you know.
Sin will always keep us from hearing the voice of the Lord. In my case, overeating among other things is a besetting sin. I am conquering clutter as I see that it makes me anxious. Anxiety does not allow you to have faith in God for fear and faith are like oil and water.
"Let them (God's words) not depart from thine eyes."
What am I looking at?? How smart is it to watch the Food Network while bringing correction into your eating? Well, that is pretty obvious. But I believe the Lord is asking me during this 28 days to be very careful of what I am focusing on. That includes television, magazines, books, shopping and I am sure more.
Keep them (God's Word) in the midst of thine heart.
Sometimes my heart is so crowded that I don't pay attention to it. (See verse 20) Just as a rotten apple spoils the barrel, the Word of God in the midst of my heart will influence everything else in my heart. Those things that cannot handle the Light of His Word will be exposed and I will have to choose to get rid of them because His Light disperses the darkness.
For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. Isaiah 60:2

22For they (God's words) are life unto those that find them, That means we have to to look for them. God does not have a drive-thru where i your haste, you drive up and order the word for the day. No, you have to find His instruction, His direction daily. What if you were going on a long trip and you got on the highway without a map or directions, and there are no road signs. You may ultimately get there, but wouldn't it be simpler to have directions?
What if a pilot did not constantly make course corrections? The winds, turbulence, often take the aircraft off course, one degree here, another there. If there are no course corrections, he will not reach his destinations.
So it is with our lives. Yet we want to do our own things and try to figure things out. Who are we listening to? The voice of God or the voice of reason? Are we willing to make corrections or is always being right more important?
"and health to all their flesh." Do you have disease in your body? God's Word has the prescription for healing. That health is our physical body but also our mind.
1) health, healing, cure
a) healing, cure
b) health, profit, sound (of mind)
c) healing
Want to be in your right mind? Then hear the voice of the Lord through His Word. Again this is a daily choice. Remember God doesn't shout at you. His word is one of peace.

Twenty-Eight Days

My inbox this morning contained the final part of Addictions from Be in Health today. (www.beinhealth.com) One paragraph said, "A person must choose their freedom or their bondage. God has given us the ability to choose so we must understand how to defeat the strong man behind addiction. A person has to understand that it involves recognition, taking responsibility, repentance, and they are going to have to take a stand no matter how much their body is pitching a fit. It takes 28 days and a change in a person's heart. We can get rid of bad habits by making new good habits. The Bible says choose this day what you shall have, blessings or curses, life or death.
I have an addiction to simple carbs. That includes everything from sugar to a potato. They break down too quickly, spikes my sugar, give me horrendous cravings, which then necessitates the need for a shot of insulin.
I had done exceedingly well on the weekend which is usually my hardest time to correct my eating. Then about 7 pm, Mike walked in with Cheese Nips. I wanted just a few. The few turned to many and then I was off to the races. The cravings kicked in and I ate from an orange to a piece of fruit cake leftover from Christmas to a single piece of Dove chocolate. Finally, I came to my senses.
To those who don't understand addictions and cravings, this was FOUR HOURS after the first Cheese Nip. If the simple carbs had been alcohol or drugs, I would have been flat on the floor. That is the insidiousness of an addiction to simple carbs, shopping, toxic relationships, or other legal choices. Things seem so normal on the outside. Well, if you have an addiction to simple carbs, you are going to get fat. (I am already fat.) But the illusion that you don't have a problem, keeps the addiction intact.
That same article says, "The need to be loved is built within us from creation. The ability to give and receive love is part of our creation. But because of the breakdown in our families, we have not loved God, ourselves or each other. We try to nurture ourselves and it is being driven by the need to be loved."
I have recognized this. It has taken a while. So as I began to recover myself, I repented and I received my forgiveness. That is key, because one of the things that holds addictions in place is that we do not forgive ourselves. Next I brought to remembrance the things I had done right. I lost seven pounds last week. I had eaten correctly until 7 pm and most of the week before. I had walked the dog for exercise. I had deliberately walked more that week in other ways.
You see the enemy comes to remind you that you are a loser and you will never get it right so why bother. That is such a lie!
Lamentations 3:22-23 says: It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
Today I begin again, once again. This is not in vanity. (I am over 100 lbs overweight for those who don't know me.) I have to make these changes to preserve my life and live the abundant life He wants me to have.
Today I begin another twenty-eight days. Want to join me with whatever you are struggling with?
If you have blown it, would you choose today to repent, forgive yourself and begin again with me. God is not mad at you. He loves you right where you are.
You don't have to be super woman. When you are weak, He is strong.
Lean on Him and if you are in that miry pit, ask Him to raise you up.

God Uses Broken Things to Accomplish His Greatest Work

Those were the words I read first thing this morning in a devotional written by Os Hillman. (http://msg4svc.net/cadtc/305680/54/1596/25400/0/S/0/0/tpxb.html)
My first thought was, "Well, then He can use me."
He tells the story of David and how when he was being harassed by Saul no one had any use for him. This when God had told him he would be king.
What has God deposited in your heart and you see no fruit, no forward movement? More than once I have tried to advance God's clock. The result was failure.
In fact, I have failed so many times that I began to fear failure. I hesitated to try things again or anew, because I might fail again. In his devotional, Os said, "God often uses failure to make us useful."
Wow! I must be very useful and all this while the enemy was telling me I was a failure. He is a liar. Why did I listen?
Then Os said, " When Jesus called the disciples, He did not go out and find the most qualified and successful people. He found the most willing, and He found them in the workplace. He found a fisherman, a tax collector, and a farmer."
That was a real "aha" moment for me in regards to my building my Mary Kay business. "He did not go out and find the most qualified and successful people. He found the most willing, and He found them in the workplace."
As I move forward to become a director, I need to look for the most willing and those already employed. I need to quit trying to resurrect the dead and look for the willing.
Willing is defined on the internet as "disposed or inclined toward;
volition: the act of making a choice;
uncoerced: not brought about by coercion or force;
Aha!
Well, the other ways I have tried have failed and I can use those failures to make myself more useful to this new team.
Hmmm now there is a thought. I need to chew on that awhile.

Principle or Preference?

Principle or preference: which of these two words best describes how you make moral decisions? This was the question posed on Charles Stanley's teaching, The Key to Wise Decisions. Sunday. (http://www.intouch.org/resources/this-weeks-sermon-outline)
It really hit at the heart of my journey with food.
19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 cor. 6:19-20
So principle or preference?
Am I going to eat what my body needs for fuel or am going with my preferences? Do my preferences line up with the Word says?
Food is not evil. Not even cookies. Overindulgence is the sin. Gluttony is sin.
Paul says in his letter to the Philippians: 19For I know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayer, and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.
21For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Paul was talking about actual death. For me it has to be death to preferences. Then "in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body."
Can you imagine being in a deep, meaningful relationship with someone but you cannot even see their face because of things piled between you two?
Now I ask myself why are all of these things piled between me and my Heavenly Father when I say I want a deep, meaningful relationship with Him? Who do I really love?
Addictions do not love back. They simply take your life away.
Principle or Preference?
Life or Death?

Time for Me to Take Responsibility for My Life

The last two evenings have been difficult ones where I gave into the sugar in the house. Today we take my mom back to South Carolina and all Missippi Mud cake, sour cream cake, etc. will go. Is it my mom's fault that I ate those things?
Absolutely not.
Although I don't think it is kind to bake those kind of things when someone is making an effort to overcome their sugar addictions, ultimately it is my responsiblity to say. "No, thank you."
N
"No, thank you," when she brings a box of Godiva chocolates to my bed where I am reading a book.
You see part of the work of overcoming an addiction is to take responsibility for yourself and your choices. Not once did anyone force feed me.
I could also whine that unlike alcohol and drugs, food is legal and is everywhere. No one is going to arrest you for disorderly conduct when your sugar has gone through the roof because you overdosed on Mississippi Mud Cake. I can keep my home environment cleaner when Mom leaves, but I still have two guys living with me who don't have the temptations I do and can and will bring unhealthy things into my space.
So it goes back to taking personal responsibility for my life.
Addictions lie. They do not love you. It is rebellion gone mad.
If the following is your song, then it is time to take responsibility for the things that can and like me quit blaming people and circumstances.
So excited for His promise that His mercies are new morning.
No longer choosing rebellion. I am taking back my life.

New Year, New Beginnings

During the last two months of 2010, I received a bad report from a doctor, a dear friend was killed in a car wreck and another friend had a stroke. God got my attention.
I have known for some time (understatement) that my weight was impacting my quality of life, but I had chosen to ignore it.
I had chosen to admit that eating the way I do is a sin.
Since I made the decision to do something about it, I have had such peace. It is all about choices and attitudes.
I am addicted to simple carbs which of course, includes sugar. I have begun cutting back significantly and take responsibility for I do eat instead of mindless eating. Hasn't always ben easy, but I find it getting easier.
Pastor Henry said the other day that the key to longevity is knowing God's Word and doing it.
Knowing AND doing.
I have a lot of head knowledge, but I have failed to "just do it!"
Now is the time!