My Hopes, My Dreams, My Future

I had a priest once who said, "To listen truly listen to someone is to allow the Christ in them to be formed."
He went on to explain that God has given us the answers to our problems, but it often isn't until we share our heart that the answers form from our own mouth. Yesterday I had two dear friends who visited me. Just sharing allowed me to have clarity over a situation that I was conflicted over.
Until recently I was the queen of self-sabotage. I could get most any job, but soon I was doing things that would sabotage my effectiveness and before long I was resigning because I was sure it was only a matter of time before they would fire me. How insane is that?
Now that I know fully that God is my Source, not the job, I am not driven to self-destruct nor even driven to perform. I simply do my best for Him.
Our trip to Ireland was very healing. It was time out for the two of us as a couple. We get way too little of that. There were no deadlines to meet and everywhere we went people went out of their way to see that we had a delightful visit. I saw hospitality as a way of life.
I came home determined to rid my own life of performance and drivenness, but I had not a clue what that would look like.
I knew I had to refinance our home and the goal is to pay it off in the next seven years. The problem is that credit requirements are particularly stringent and it will take someone who does private mortgages. Since I know that would have to be a God-thing, it doesn't stress me. I mean look at our trip to Ireland.
Still there was a part of me that wanted to help God make it happen.
I work for Be In Health and I sell Mary Kay. Should I back off off the predictable income job that I love and push for personal sales and make it happen? I had no peace in that, but I really didn't know if that was fear of failure.
Then I was watching a Food Network challenge last night and this young woman said something like this: "It is better to fail at something you love than succeed at the wrong thing."
I love my job. Last Thursday when I taught Unloving, I could see that I was making a difference in people's lives so that they could know freedom from the enemy. People came to me afterward with gracious comments.
One girl was so cute. She said, "I got it! I finally got! Thank you so much. I finally understand what I was allowing the enemy to do in my life."
She went on to say that she had called her husband the night before and told him to come get her. She didn't understand anything and this was a waste. He didn't do that. So she had come that morning anyway and now she had the key to her freedom.
I love being one of the moderators of the Bulletin Board. It's like have an interactive extended family with people helping each other.
So last night when she said, "It is better to fail at something you love than succeed at the wrong thing," Be In Health won hands down.
Almost immediately the Lord gave me a way to build the internet side of my Mary Kay business. It is rather passive and will not take away from Be In Health in the least. Also, I saw God sell Mary Kay for me before I went to Ireland when I was too busy. Just last week someone who hasn't ordered in a week, called me out of the blue to order. I have to be faithful to keep my "store" stocked and give good service, but I don't have to get into drivenness over it.
Corrie Tem Boom once said, "Hold everything loosely because it hurts when God pries your fingers open."
That everything includes my hopes, my dreams and my future.
Today once again, I lay it all in His hands. He is faithful. What shall I fear if I totally surrender to Him?

Time in a Bottle

With all the baby showers and planning, I had ample time to think back to my child-rearing days. I have six children and my "baby" is 30. So it has been a while.
Today Adrienne asked me if I could cook with Ian and Maran again this week. Of course, I said yes. It made me so happy that they asked if they could come again.
Still all of this and some things that are happening in the lives of my children and grandchildren brought back that song by Jim Croce, Time in a Bottle. I always thought it was love song written to his woman, but it was actually written by Jim to his son, Adrian,when he was a baby. It became a hit after Jim died in a tragic plane crash in 1973. His son, Adrian, became singer-songwriter, A.J.Croce.

"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with..."

"There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them."

We are all given the same hours in a day, but if I logged it carefully what would it really show? How much of it is about me? How much of my children's childhood was lost to me, because I was caught up in pursuit of dreams of a better life, an escape from victimization or poverty. How many were ungodly detours because I ran ahead of God?

A promise of restoration that I have often turned to is:
I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I [am] in the midst of Israel, and [that] I [am] the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed. Joel 2:25-27

Would I do things differently if I were raising my children today? You betcha! Do I believe that God can weave something beautiful out of my messes, yes, as I am willing to repent and surrender them to Him.

Christmas with Margie, Tom, Christopher and Emily along with the Ians and Marans and Austins that He has placed in my life are ways that He deals wondrously with me today.

Time can't be put in a bottle. So handle the time that you do have with care.