Whose Life Is It?

Too often when I wake up in the morning my "to do" list flashes across my mind. I have to do this. Have to finish this. Although I take time to be with Daddy and love Him and let Him love me, that list is flashing like a neon sign in my mind.
When I remember why I am here and whose I am, there are still things to be done, but the drivenness and performance is gone.  I am free to take a detour when prompted and just love on someone, write a note, make a call.
When the list is more important than the people, the joy of life dissipates.
Drivenness and performance came out of my need to justify my taking up real estate on planet Earth. I spent most of my life feeling like I had to prove I was okay. I focused more on those somebody done somebody wrong songs playing in my head, that I couldn't hear Daddy, calling me. I couldn't feel good enough to receive His love. I felt I had to earn it. Corrie Tem Boom once said, "Hold everything loosely because it hurts when God pries your fingers open."
I know the truth in that. Things that I thought were mine, all mine, turned to dust. When I began to trust Daddy to care for me and love me, I could follow His plan, not mine.
It was not only wiser, but safer and peaceful in a way I had not know before.
I love my life because it really isn't mine at all, simply a space in time, He has given me.
Just this week a friend died, another was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, and a doctor found a tumor in my cousin's pancreas. I can fix none of that. I can pray. I can love and reach out. Then I can give it back to Him, the author and finisher of my faith.
I place none on my "to do" list.
Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work. John 4:34

I Give Myself Away