Last night after I taught a class, I sat down with a friend who has had a tumultuous year. She really doesn't recognize her contribution to her torment.
She was angry and bitter and was not taking responsibility for that. She was looking at other people and situations rather than her own heart.
We are personally responsible for our relationship with God. That's it. We are not called to fix anyone. We are not their God nor their Holy Spirit. If I have a problem with someone, I have to examine my own heart to see what in me keeps me from loving them fully, unconditionally. You see as I respond to their barbed personality with God's love, healing begins.
We are not called to become co-dependent with someone in their torment, but we are called to love them. Keeping bitterness is like drinking a cup of poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Why would you do that?
Put down the cup of bitterness.
She went on to call her husband a few choice names. It pierced my heart. As wives we are in covenant with our husbands regardless of where he is spiritually.
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.Mat 19:4-6
They twain shall be ONE flesh.
When you attack your spouse, you are attacking yourself. You are opening the door for the accuser of the brethren to have a field day on the playground of your heart and you wonder why you have no peace?
All autoimmune diseases come out of self attacking self. Perhaps we don't recognize that we are attacking ourselves because the bitterness is directed towards our spouse. When you attack him, you attack yourself.
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15:12
Ask the Father to rekindle your love. Ask Him to help you love yourself, because you cannot love another until you first love yourself.
You are valuable. The highest calling is to be a vessel of God's love that He can pour through you. Clean out anything that would clog that flow. Let it flow.
Today sit in His Presence and allow Him to wash away anything that is not of Him.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Murder with the Tongue
I have always had an opinion. I think that comes out of a need to be heard. When you are abused or neglected, you feel invisible as if you don't fit in and you have no value. So you do things to be noticed whether it is dye your hair orange or paint your body as a mural or as in my case, had a sharp wit and tongue ever ready with a comeback. A zinger.
Over the years it became an art form. It was a desirable skill in politics. What I did not recognize is that in the process, I was killing myself. I knew I did many things to destroy myself like overeating and drivenness and performance, but I never realized how my cleverness was destroying me.
"Cleverness," said Sir James Paget, "is a character of mind the exercise of which is so instantly and pleasantly rewarded, that the temptation to cultivate it is always present."
Years later in Christian circles, we hear things like, "Have I got a word for you."
How much is our cleverness drawn from the well of experience instead of fresh, living water.
I have been reading Oswald Chambers' book, Not Knowing Where.
It is just downright powerful and God has used to to "weed eat" some junk out of my life while I have been home this month.
I was reading about Cain and Abel and Chambers say in effect that no one can murder his brother who has not first murdered God in himself. It is the rebellion of his whole nature against God.
That really pierced me.
All my zingers directed at others, murdering their worth, were murdering God in me.
Daily we choose which kingdom we will serve. How can we serve a kingdom while destroying it and ourselves in the process?
This week I have repented and asked the Lord to give me a new tongue.
Pleasant words [are as] an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
I choose to eat this sweetness and believe my health will improve mind, body, and spirit.
Over the years it became an art form. It was a desirable skill in politics. What I did not recognize is that in the process, I was killing myself. I knew I did many things to destroy myself like overeating and drivenness and performance, but I never realized how my cleverness was destroying me.
"Cleverness," said Sir James Paget, "is a character of mind the exercise of which is so instantly and pleasantly rewarded, that the temptation to cultivate it is always present."
Years later in Christian circles, we hear things like, "Have I got a word for you."
How much is our cleverness drawn from the well of experience instead of fresh, living water.
I have been reading Oswald Chambers' book, Not Knowing Where.
It is just downright powerful and God has used to to "weed eat" some junk out of my life while I have been home this month.
I was reading about Cain and Abel and Chambers say in effect that no one can murder his brother who has not first murdered God in himself. It is the rebellion of his whole nature against God.
That really pierced me.
All my zingers directed at others, murdering their worth, were murdering God in me.
Daily we choose which kingdom we will serve. How can we serve a kingdom while destroying it and ourselves in the process?
This week I have repented and asked the Lord to give me a new tongue.
Pleasant words [are as] an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
I choose to eat this sweetness and believe my health will improve mind, body, and spirit.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
And So It Begins...
My phone rang all afternoon long and into the evening as people called to ask for help or to help. It was a symbiotic swing back and forth.
Little things that generally take me weeks to accomplish were complete by days end.
One such example is http://bluebirdmarket.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/bluebird-market-welcomes-restoration-jewels/
I have yet to meet Patti, but she is so quick and eager to help. I hope you love her Bluebird Market site as much as I do.
This Saturday Ray and I are going over as vendors and we will simply sell some of our hundreds of books. We just want to get a feel for the market, the people who come and what other offerings are out there.
Then we will be on the 12th with our jewelry. After that we will launch our Etsy storefront.
It was exciting to see the women that the Lord brought to the house today. Such a wide range of hearts and needs.
Saturday afternoon we will have a bead making gathering where my friends are invited to come by, roll beads from various papers and visit. I need to build an inventory over a thousand beads for these "green" necklaces.
Our home is finally becoming the house of hospitality and safe place that I always dreamed it would be.
Little things that generally take me weeks to accomplish were complete by days end.
One such example is http://bluebirdmarket.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/bluebird-market-welcomes-restoration-jewels/
I have yet to meet Patti, but she is so quick and eager to help. I hope you love her Bluebird Market site as much as I do.
This Saturday Ray and I are going over as vendors and we will simply sell some of our hundreds of books. We just want to get a feel for the market, the people who come and what other offerings are out there.
Then we will be on the 12th with our jewelry. After that we will launch our Etsy storefront.
It was exciting to see the women that the Lord brought to the house today. Such a wide range of hearts and needs.
Saturday afternoon we will have a bead making gathering where my friends are invited to come by, roll beads from various papers and visit. I need to build an inventory over a thousand beads for these "green" necklaces.
Our home is finally becoming the house of hospitality and safe place that I always dreamed it would be.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Restoration Jewels
The Lord has rekindled my desire to impact women's lives who have been abused and are clueless as to how precious they are.
I am taking old jewelry and purses making new pieces. I call them Restoration Jewels because I think that is how the Father sees. Some may see us as lumps of coal because of the abuse, shame and humiliation, but my Father sees the diamond inside and He loves me even in my darkness for He is the Light that will make me shine.
My heart is to earn extra money to provide a safe haven even if it is just hours a week where they can be loved and nurtured. To teach them to create beautiful things and begin to see the beauty in life. I believe that when you create something beautiful, yu are connected to the Creator Himself.
My friend, Autumne, directed to the Etsy site for online selling of this genre and I have set up an account. Then my friend, Susan, directed me to the Bluebird Market locally. Sales will begin by September 12th. I am so excited.
This is still another level of Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
If you have orphaned or unwanted jewelry or purses that you would like to send, we would would welcome them. I will not be doing this singlehandedly, but count on other women helping this women for we are family. The address is 330 E Lee Street, Thomaston, GA 30286
We are not a charity so there will not be a tax deduction this side of heaven, but I encourage you to share some beauty with your sisters. They are ready for the times to get better.
I am taking old jewelry and purses making new pieces. I call them Restoration Jewels because I think that is how the Father sees. Some may see us as lumps of coal because of the abuse, shame and humiliation, but my Father sees the diamond inside and He loves me even in my darkness for He is the Light that will make me shine.
My heart is to earn extra money to provide a safe haven even if it is just hours a week where they can be loved and nurtured. To teach them to create beautiful things and begin to see the beauty in life. I believe that when you create something beautiful, yu are connected to the Creator Himself.
My friend, Autumne, directed to the Etsy site for online selling of this genre and I have set up an account. Then my friend, Susan, directed me to the Bluebird Market locally. Sales will begin by September 12th. I am so excited.
This is still another level of Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
If you have orphaned or unwanted jewelry or purses that you would like to send, we would would welcome them. I will not be doing this singlehandedly, but count on other women helping this women for we are family. The address is 330 E Lee Street, Thomaston, GA 30286
We are not a charity so there will not be a tax deduction this side of heaven, but I encourage you to share some beauty with your sisters. They are ready for the times to get better.
Monday, August 24, 2009
God is Waiting
I have spent most of the night waiting for someone to come home. Confused, she ran from safety back to the snare. As I sat and prayed about her situation, I thought of the times in my life that God has waited on me to want Him so much that I run to Him in absolutely surrender.
It was quite humbling. I am 64. I have always tried to work the plan whether His or mine. But Hebrews 4 is an invitation to enter His rest. I was introduced to it first at Cursillo by someone standing next to me in the lunch line. It has taken me TWENTY-EIGHT years to really begin to grab hold of that as a way of life.
I can not rescue this woman. I can only love her with the Father's love.
The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3
It is through His Spirit only that I can meet her and love her unconditionally when she returns home.
Years have been wasted as I have tried to fix people, correct them, and all those other ungodly things I did to try to get them to see the error the their ways, to try to get them not to have those wasted years I had. It may have been a good intention, but it was ungodly.
We must have the Spirit of the Lord on us to mend the brokenhearted and comfort them and show them His abundant life. Then we must be willing to wait for them as He waited for us.
My prayer is that she will run to Him. Will you run to Him, too. He is waiting.
It was quite humbling. I am 64. I have always tried to work the plan whether His or mine. But Hebrews 4 is an invitation to enter His rest. I was introduced to it first at Cursillo by someone standing next to me in the lunch line. It has taken me TWENTY-EIGHT years to really begin to grab hold of that as a way of life.
I can not rescue this woman. I can only love her with the Father's love.
The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3
It is through His Spirit only that I can meet her and love her unconditionally when she returns home.
Years have been wasted as I have tried to fix people, correct them, and all those other ungodly things I did to try to get them to see the error the their ways, to try to get them not to have those wasted years I had. It may have been a good intention, but it was ungodly.
We must have the Spirit of the Lord on us to mend the brokenhearted and comfort them and show them His abundant life. Then we must be willing to wait for them as He waited for us.
My prayer is that she will run to Him. Will you run to Him, too. He is waiting.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Warning! This is a Commercial!
The Lord has been stretching me lately with Mary Kay. Tonight when I got home from church, I found in my Inbox some awesome new Mary Kay techniques for makeup.
So I have decided to include these and other tips that I find and begin a Saturday Beauty blitz and sale. Every Saturday will be beauty tip and a special offer. After all, we are triune beings. Mind, BODY and Spirit!
The makeup artist will tell you the name of each product and how to apply it. These are short but thorough.
Wait until you see the latest Fall/Winter looks. They are full of romance and ventage details. I love vintage.
Afterwards, simply go to my website: www.marykay.com/adunn and place your order. Shipping is always free and if you mention this blog, I will take 10% as well. Now you go, girl!
The latest trends can be found at:
Then some makeup tips:
Now what can I send you?
So I have decided to include these and other tips that I find and begin a Saturday Beauty blitz and sale. Every Saturday will be beauty tip and a special offer. After all, we are triune beings. Mind, BODY and Spirit!
The makeup artist will tell you the name of each product and how to apply it. These are short but thorough.
Wait until you see the latest Fall/Winter looks. They are full of romance and ventage details. I love vintage.
Afterwards, simply go to my website: www.marykay.com/adunn and place your order. Shipping is always free and if you mention this blog, I will take 10% as well. Now you go, girl!
The latest trends can be found at:
Then some makeup tips:
Now what can I send you?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
God's Glamour Girl
For over sixty years, I saw no good thing when I looked in the mirror.
About three years ago, I began selling Mary Kay with an ulterior motive. I knew I wasn't a hypocrite and if I sold it, I would have to use it which meant two things:
I would have to take better care of myself and I would have to use a quality product not whatever is the cheapest. In other words, I had to value myself.
It actually took some time for me to look in the mirror without disdain. I would stand before the mirror and pray, "God, help me to see what you see when you see me, because I see no good thing."
I enjoy doing one on one facials and talking to a woman about who she is in Christ Jesus. The more I do it, the more I believe it for myself as well.
You see it isn't really about Mary Kay at all. In fact, often times I take my profits and plow it back into more product to give away to people who have very limited means.
I love pampering them. I love to make them feel valuable especially if they have been abused.
It so opens the door for me to minister to their deep heart needs.
Today a friend, Deborah, sent me an acrostic about God's Glamour Woman. This is the stuff that goes much deeper than Mary Kay ever can.
The Qualities of God’s Glamour Girl written by Jacqueline Overpeck
Who is God’s glamour girl and what are her admirable qualities?
According to Scripture, she is:
G – Gorgeous inside and out
She fears the Lord knowing He is the source of all good things.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
L – Laughter
She’s isn’t afraid to laugh out loud and she looks for ways to encourage others.
…the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
A – All about adoration
She’s got a heart for applauding her King. She loves to praise and worship her God.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Psalm 100:1-2
M – Mercy
Her heart is full of compassion and her hands are ready to serve.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12-14
O – Original
She’s uniquely herself. She places her whole life in God’s hands--knowing as His creation she already shines like a star.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…
Psalm 139:13-14
U – Understanding
She has a ravenous appetite for wisdom and she loves to read the Bible. She’s thirsty for truth and delights in understanding the mysteries of God.
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Proverbs 24:3-4
R – Righteousness
She keeps herself pure. She desires to be an untarnished vessel for God’s anointing to flow through. Nothing is more important to God’s Glamour Girl than establishing heaven’s kingdom on earth.
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long.
Psalm 71:14-15
TRUE GLAMOUR
God’s glamour girl is gorgeous inside and out. She’s filled with laughter.
She has a song in her heart. Mercy springs from her spirit.
She’s totally original. Her Bible is handy.
She uses her unique gifts and talents to share the saving message of Jesus with the world.
About three years ago, I began selling Mary Kay with an ulterior motive. I knew I wasn't a hypocrite and if I sold it, I would have to use it which meant two things:
I would have to take better care of myself and I would have to use a quality product not whatever is the cheapest. In other words, I had to value myself.
It actually took some time for me to look in the mirror without disdain. I would stand before the mirror and pray, "God, help me to see what you see when you see me, because I see no good thing."
I enjoy doing one on one facials and talking to a woman about who she is in Christ Jesus. The more I do it, the more I believe it for myself as well.
You see it isn't really about Mary Kay at all. In fact, often times I take my profits and plow it back into more product to give away to people who have very limited means.
I love pampering them. I love to make them feel valuable especially if they have been abused.
It so opens the door for me to minister to their deep heart needs.
Today a friend, Deborah, sent me an acrostic about God's Glamour Woman. This is the stuff that goes much deeper than Mary Kay ever can.
The Qualities of God’s Glamour Girl written by Jacqueline Overpeck
Who is God’s glamour girl and what are her admirable qualities?
According to Scripture, she is:
G – Gorgeous inside and out
She fears the Lord knowing He is the source of all good things.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
L – Laughter
She’s isn’t afraid to laugh out loud and she looks for ways to encourage others.
…the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
A – All about adoration
She’s got a heart for applauding her King. She loves to praise and worship her God.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Psalm 100:1-2
M – Mercy
Her heart is full of compassion and her hands are ready to serve.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12-14
O – Original
She’s uniquely herself. She places her whole life in God’s hands--knowing as His creation she already shines like a star.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…
Psalm 139:13-14
U – Understanding
She has a ravenous appetite for wisdom and she loves to read the Bible. She’s thirsty for truth and delights in understanding the mysteries of God.
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Proverbs 24:3-4
R – Righteousness
She keeps herself pure. She desires to be an untarnished vessel for God’s anointing to flow through. Nothing is more important to God’s Glamour Girl than establishing heaven’s kingdom on earth.
But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long.
Psalm 71:14-15
TRUE GLAMOUR
God’s glamour girl is gorgeous inside and out. She’s filled with laughter.
She has a song in her heart. Mercy springs from her spirit.
She’s totally original. Her Bible is handy.
She uses her unique gifts and talents to share the saving message of Jesus with the world.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Light Your World
Since my youth, one of my favorite verses has been Isaih 60:1-2.
Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee.
For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.
It is a prescription for bringing God's glory into this world. We must first, ARISE. Which means we cannot be passive. We have to come on the scene and get involved.
Note though that we arise and then in verse 2 it says the Lord shall arise. Here's the promise. We get involved in the loves of others and He will "rise, come forth, break out, arise, rise up, shine" upon us. Then it will not be anything in us that people see but they see His light, His glory dispelling the darkness of their hearts and lives.
Light Your World Today!
Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee.
For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.
It is a prescription for bringing God's glory into this world. We must first, ARISE. Which means we cannot be passive. We have to come on the scene and get involved.
Note though that we arise and then in verse 2 it says the Lord shall arise. Here's the promise. We get involved in the loves of others and He will "rise, come forth, break out, arise, rise up, shine" upon us. Then it will not be anything in us that people see but they see His light, His glory dispelling the darkness of their hearts and lives.
Light Your World Today!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Seeing More Clearly Now
All of my life I have struggled with black and white thinking.
People that go black and white in their thinking don’t make allowance for gray. It’s either, either/or, up or down and then when they find the gray in their life that means they’re not always perfect or bad. Then they blame themselves. They are hard on themselves. Then they have a little guilt issue, because they can’t get it all together all the time so fast. This is a disease maker, when we go black and white in our thinking. I shift into performance and drivenness to get it right. There is certainly nothing wrong with having a desire to change, but the enemy will join you to help you by - by accusing you in your heart towards yourself. Because it seems like you haven’t got everything done. You haven’t won every battle. And so then maybe there’s some accusing spirits that are accusing you to yourself about your journey.
All of this can cause self-accusation, self-bitterness, self-rejection, which could affect your health, because you cannot take your peace. Now you are at war with yourself. It’s always a self versus self battle. And you’re not your enemy. But the enemy would love to come, because you’re very sincere. When God has met your faith. He has met your sincerity, but you’re still being changed. Then we need to give ourselves time to work through it. Grow through this. Grow up in this, and don’t be so hard on ourself.
We're just girls. We don’t have to be strong in everything. Most of us had a lot of stuff you brought with you from our childhood. Our parents did the best that they could with what they knew and what they themselves were taught. It's time to move beyond that and ask our Father to show us people and situations as He sees them.There is no grace in the black and white. I need His grace and mercy. I am asking for His eyes as I continue on this journey.It's better than 20/20. It's eternal.
People that go black and white in their thinking don’t make allowance for gray. It’s either, either/or, up or down and then when they find the gray in their life that means they’re not always perfect or bad. Then they blame themselves. They are hard on themselves. Then they have a little guilt issue, because they can’t get it all together all the time so fast. This is a disease maker, when we go black and white in our thinking. I shift into performance and drivenness to get it right. There is certainly nothing wrong with having a desire to change, but the enemy will join you to help you by - by accusing you in your heart towards yourself. Because it seems like you haven’t got everything done. You haven’t won every battle. And so then maybe there’s some accusing spirits that are accusing you to yourself about your journey.
All of this can cause self-accusation, self-bitterness, self-rejection, which could affect your health, because you cannot take your peace. Now you are at war with yourself. It’s always a self versus self battle. And you’re not your enemy. But the enemy would love to come, because you’re very sincere. When God has met your faith. He has met your sincerity, but you’re still being changed. Then we need to give ourselves time to work through it. Grow through this. Grow up in this, and don’t be so hard on ourself.
We're just girls. We don’t have to be strong in everything. Most of us had a lot of stuff you brought with you from our childhood. Our parents did the best that they could with what they knew and what they themselves were taught. It's time to move beyond that and ask our Father to show us people and situations as He sees them.There is no grace in the black and white. I need His grace and mercy. I am asking for His eyes as I continue on this journey.It's better than 20/20. It's eternal.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Climbing a Mountain?
Climbing a mountain is hard. It is physically taxing. More often than not, I pause along the way. From the mountains of North Carolina where I went to vacation as a youth to the mountains of Lesotho in southern Africa, I always paused along the way to catch my breath and then continued on.
Pausing is okay, but how many times in the mountains set before me have I sat down and quit? Or turned around before I reached my destination, because it was just too hard?
God has a plan. He had a plan for each of us before the foundations of the earth. He is the Lord that changes not.
So why do we try to create a newer, better plan? A faster, more efficient plan?
Very simply it is because we do not fully trust God. This has become a harsh reality in my life.
Very simply it is because we do not fully trust God. This has become a harsh reality in my life.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
When I am not trusting God, I am without faith. Faithless. I am hopeless without faith.
God has a plan. His plans for each of us is for good and not evil. We must keep climbing, keep pressing forward. It isn't a race; it is a journey. The important thing is to move with Him when He moves.
Come to a place of absolute surrender and you will have both great joy and peace.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Back Side of the Desert
God allows us desert time to teach us to trust Him with ALL of our hearts. It isn't fun. It can be quite painful and we may think He has deseted us, but He wants to learn to trust His timing.
If I had to pay child support for all of Ishmael's I have created when I ran ahead of God, it would probably exceed the national debt.
But praise God He has forgiven my debts. Now I wait for His timing and His deliverance.
I have never felt the peace I now know. It is a quizzical place. I have no idea what the future holds from the simplest of things like my Mary Kay business to whether or not to take in a troubled woman.
I have always had little patience for those who could not make quick decisions, but now I am learning the peace in trusting God and waiting for Him to reveal the answers instead of trying to figure it out on my own.
Satan pushes, but the Holy Spirit leads. I am sitting on the backside of the desert waiting to be lead. Waiting to hear His voice saying, "This is the way, walk in it."
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Trust in the Lord
We left Jacksonville seven years ago.
The Lord had given me a scripture:
And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. Mark 10:29-30
We came to Thomaston dead broke in the middle of bankruptcy payments. My illness and inability to work had quickly brought the roof down. I saw hope in Thomaston in the middle of nowhere.
I had already been delivered of multiple personality disorder and several other diseases like fibromyalgia and heart problems. But I knew if I was going to continue to walkout into wholeness, I would have to walk away from everything familiar.
It was hard, very hard to leave my family especially my mother. I felt like a deserter, but I knew I was fighting for my life.
I was misunderstood and shunned by family. Of course, when your family only knew you as mentally unstable, how could they see what the Lord showed me?
Ray was driving long distance at the time which made it easier to move, but he was only home about 36 hours a week. So I was lonely and doubted that I ever heard God.
It is in the pit that you find out what you are made of. In my case, it was not all good. I had a lot of selfishness that had to go before the Lord could get near me.
Out of fear I tried to control things. When I realized that tied God's hands, I eventually surrendered.
When we try to control a person or a situation, we are really saying, "God, I don't think you can handle this without my help."
What arrogannce! Pride goes before a mighty fall.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
This past year I have been learning to trust Him. All the while I thought I was trusting Him, but it was fear faith. Just like oil and water do not mix, fear and faith do not either. Getting the fear out of my life has been a process. I think I have it, but then another fear presents itself. Time Magazine had an article once that said there were over 4,000 fears. I certainly did not have that to face, but I sure had my share from fear of poverty to fear of man. One by one with God's help, I have picked them off.
I am facing an enigma of a health challenge right now. For the most part, I am fine. I am just tired. The difference now is in this pit, I do not have unwanted guests of fear, doubt and unbelief.
I am trusting Him and believing His Word that it shall be health to my navel and marrow to my bones.
Today alone I have had four requests from people with cancer. In two of the cases, it has already metasized to the bone. I can only share my hope and my trust in my Lord.
I have no words of wisdom, but I know God heals. He has certainly healed me of many diseases. He has spared my life more than once.
I must trust the Lord with ALL of my heart. I cannot lean on my understanding.
The Lord had given me a scripture:
And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. Mark 10:29-30
We came to Thomaston dead broke in the middle of bankruptcy payments. My illness and inability to work had quickly brought the roof down. I saw hope in Thomaston in the middle of nowhere.
I had already been delivered of multiple personality disorder and several other diseases like fibromyalgia and heart problems. But I knew if I was going to continue to walkout into wholeness, I would have to walk away from everything familiar.
It was hard, very hard to leave my family especially my mother. I felt like a deserter, but I knew I was fighting for my life.
I was misunderstood and shunned by family. Of course, when your family only knew you as mentally unstable, how could they see what the Lord showed me?
Ray was driving long distance at the time which made it easier to move, but he was only home about 36 hours a week. So I was lonely and doubted that I ever heard God.
It is in the pit that you find out what you are made of. In my case, it was not all good. I had a lot of selfishness that had to go before the Lord could get near me.
Out of fear I tried to control things. When I realized that tied God's hands, I eventually surrendered.
When we try to control a person or a situation, we are really saying, "God, I don't think you can handle this without my help."
What arrogannce! Pride goes before a mighty fall.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
This past year I have been learning to trust Him. All the while I thought I was trusting Him, but it was fear faith. Just like oil and water do not mix, fear and faith do not either. Getting the fear out of my life has been a process. I think I have it, but then another fear presents itself. Time Magazine had an article once that said there were over 4,000 fears. I certainly did not have that to face, but I sure had my share from fear of poverty to fear of man. One by one with God's help, I have picked them off.
I am facing an enigma of a health challenge right now. For the most part, I am fine. I am just tired. The difference now is in this pit, I do not have unwanted guests of fear, doubt and unbelief.
I am trusting Him and believing His Word that it shall be health to my navel and marrow to my bones.
Today alone I have had four requests from people with cancer. In two of the cases, it has already metasized to the bone. I can only share my hope and my trust in my Lord.
I have no words of wisdom, but I know God heals. He has certainly healed me of many diseases. He has spared my life more than once.
I must trust the Lord with ALL of my heart. I cannot lean on my understanding.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Hugged Any Porcupines Lately?
There are people that you love, but loving them means you are going to get hurt.
Sometimes that hurt is so defiling.
When it is, I realize that I have taken it in, instead of separating the person from their sin. Wonk! I am down for the count.
Now I have a choice. I can forgive and not keep a record of wrongs or I can stew over it and literally make myself sick. (Psalm 38)
The doctor has prescribed a 30 day time of rest. In this time, I am taking the time to be with Him especially in daily reviewing 2 Peter chapter 2.
God frequently gives us building blocks. In our haste, we want to skip steps.
In 2 Peter it says:
...add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:...
I want to skip from faith to love. There is so much more. Without taking the time to build this foundation, His perfect love can not be shared.
I hugged a porcupine today. I am going to sit in my favorite chair, pull out the quills, and allow the Lord to breathe His life into me and then I will begin again once again.
Sometimes that hurt is so defiling.
When it is, I realize that I have taken it in, instead of separating the person from their sin. Wonk! I am down for the count.
Now I have a choice. I can forgive and not keep a record of wrongs or I can stew over it and literally make myself sick. (Psalm 38)
The doctor has prescribed a 30 day time of rest. In this time, I am taking the time to be with Him especially in daily reviewing 2 Peter chapter 2.
God frequently gives us building blocks. In our haste, we want to skip steps.
In 2 Peter it says:
...add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:...
I want to skip from faith to love. There is so much more. Without taking the time to build this foundation, His perfect love can not be shared.
I hugged a porcupine today. I am going to sit in my favorite chair, pull out the quills, and allow the Lord to breathe His life into me and then I will begin again once again.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Invisible Women
The other night when I could not sleep because my blood sugar was so high, because of the prednisone I was on. So I wrote letters to several friends people asking them to give out $10 Mary Kay gift certificates to help promote my home business while I am home on a doctor ordered rest.
Still when I woke up this morning after only three hours sleep, I was stewing in my juices. I was totally annoyed because doctor's visits, prescriptions, tests, etc. had stripped me of the ability to place a $500 order of all the new products and get them before my existing customer base.
I feel we are at a pivotal point in MK and this is probably the most important quarter of my short career, because they have some new marketing helps available only to their Star Consultants. I am generally in that category, but between Ireland and illness had fallen short. I was so frustrated.
Then after my first cup of coffee, God was able to get my attention. Who am I trusting with this business? We saw so many provisions while preparing and then going to Ireland. Had I forgotten?
So once I again, I turned my business back over to Him. During the trip preparations, I saw I had to always step out in faith, THEN He came alongside me and move in my behalf.
More important than that I had gotten my eyes off of my calling and on to one of the vehicles that funds it.
It seems lately the Lord is bringing me abused women with emotional problems. Tuesday evening a woman came and asked if she could clean for me, because they had repossessed her car and she had no job. I told her Ray would have to make that decision because he handles all of our finances. They talked together and I told Ray that I trusted her. (I had helped her with smaller things before and I knew she had a lot of fear and abandonment issues.)
The next morning we have coffee and she talks a bit and she feels led to share some witchcraft going on across the street. I was nonplussed. I told her she didn't have to be a victim of it. I tell her what the Lord has done for me and how He delivered me of multiple personality disorder and the many physical healings. After over 20 years of everything from psychiatric wards to Christian counseling, I was finally set free.
I asked her if she wanted to be free of Satan's power. She said yes and I gave her a mini-lesson on the Father's Love.
Then I lead her in a simple prayer.
Then she tells me she has been diagnosed with seven personalities. I began to share with her that God saw her before the foundations of the world. He had a purpose for her.
Her heart is soft.
She said until two months ago she was on Lithium that cost $300 a month, but she could no longer afford it. (Praise God!) I notice the cut marks on her forearm but say nothing.
She is working on the kitchen. So I come in and ask if I can put on a CD from our church. She said, well, I don't know if I can get me work done quickly if I am listening.
I said, if she found it a major distraction just turn it off.
I came back a half an hour later and she said this is good.
The CD she is listening to? How Thoughts Affect Our Body by Pastor Anita Hill.
She is doing an excellent job and I wish I could pay her to come daily while I am off, but I would have to sell a whole lot of Mary Kay to do that.
Imagine who we will each be when this 30 days is up.
What God has done in my life gives me confidence to help this woman and others like her. I know God has brought her into our lives for a purpose.
She worked hard all day long and when she left, she said this is the happiest I have been in a long, long time.
She has come again. She struggles with fear, but is crying out for help.
Funny. 72 hours ago the most important need I had was to have money for inventory to make more money. lol Now I think I sure would have some money to hire her while I am off work on a doctor-ordered rest just to be able to disciple her and love on her.
I have been very near to where she is today. Disenfranchised from family because of her instability which began several years ago when her husband abandoned her. She has lost all that is precious to her.
She is unemployed and has valid needs. Amazing how when we get our eyes off ourselves, we begin to see how much the Lord wants to do through us.
It is time for me to take that Holy Ghost roto-rooter to my heart.
Open my heart, Lord, to see as you see and love as you love.
Still when I woke up this morning after only three hours sleep, I was stewing in my juices. I was totally annoyed because doctor's visits, prescriptions, tests, etc. had stripped me of the ability to place a $500 order of all the new products and get them before my existing customer base.
I feel we are at a pivotal point in MK and this is probably the most important quarter of my short career, because they have some new marketing helps available only to their Star Consultants. I am generally in that category, but between Ireland and illness had fallen short. I was so frustrated.
Then after my first cup of coffee, God was able to get my attention. Who am I trusting with this business? We saw so many provisions while preparing and then going to Ireland. Had I forgotten?
So once I again, I turned my business back over to Him. During the trip preparations, I saw I had to always step out in faith, THEN He came alongside me and move in my behalf.
More important than that I had gotten my eyes off of my calling and on to one of the vehicles that funds it.
It seems lately the Lord is bringing me abused women with emotional problems. Tuesday evening a woman came and asked if she could clean for me, because they had repossessed her car and she had no job. I told her Ray would have to make that decision because he handles all of our finances. They talked together and I told Ray that I trusted her. (I had helped her with smaller things before and I knew she had a lot of fear and abandonment issues.)
The next morning we have coffee and she talks a bit and she feels led to share some witchcraft going on across the street. I was nonplussed. I told her she didn't have to be a victim of it. I tell her what the Lord has done for me and how He delivered me of multiple personality disorder and the many physical healings. After over 20 years of everything from psychiatric wards to Christian counseling, I was finally set free.
I asked her if she wanted to be free of Satan's power. She said yes and I gave her a mini-lesson on the Father's Love.
Then I lead her in a simple prayer.
Then she tells me she has been diagnosed with seven personalities. I began to share with her that God saw her before the foundations of the world. He had a purpose for her.
Her heart is soft.
She said until two months ago she was on Lithium that cost $300 a month, but she could no longer afford it. (Praise God!) I notice the cut marks on her forearm but say nothing.
She is working on the kitchen. So I come in and ask if I can put on a CD from our church. She said, well, I don't know if I can get me work done quickly if I am listening.
I said, if she found it a major distraction just turn it off.
I came back a half an hour later and she said this is good.
The CD she is listening to? How Thoughts Affect Our Body by Pastor Anita Hill.
She is doing an excellent job and I wish I could pay her to come daily while I am off, but I would have to sell a whole lot of Mary Kay to do that.
Imagine who we will each be when this 30 days is up.
What God has done in my life gives me confidence to help this woman and others like her. I know God has brought her into our lives for a purpose.
She worked hard all day long and when she left, she said this is the happiest I have been in a long, long time.
She has come again. She struggles with fear, but is crying out for help.
Funny. 72 hours ago the most important need I had was to have money for inventory to make more money. lol Now I think I sure would have some money to hire her while I am off work on a doctor-ordered rest just to be able to disciple her and love on her.
I have been very near to where she is today. Disenfranchised from family because of her instability which began several years ago when her husband abandoned her. She has lost all that is precious to her.
She is unemployed and has valid needs. Amazing how when we get our eyes off ourselves, we begin to see how much the Lord wants to do through us.
It is time for me to take that Holy Ghost roto-rooter to my heart.
Open my heart, Lord, to see as you see and love as you love.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
We Fall Down, But We Get Up
This particular blog is a compilation of what the Lord has been doing with me the past couple of weeks.
He has been faithful to send illustrations across my path to make it clearer.
I understand that there are possible spiritual roots of over 80% of all disease.
I understand that disease has no legal right to me unless I open the door through sin.
As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. Prov. 26:2
So when I became ill, I knew what needed to be dealt with and that there probably another layer or two that would be revealed as well.
So the journey began. The first block to healing is unforgiveness. More often than not, that is directed towards me. I don't give myself a lot of grace.
This week I listened to Mary Pat's CD, Biblical Insights to Food and Related Issues.
In it she says, Pastor Henry teaches that we are neither black nor white, but pilgrims in progress moving from black to white. So we are all in vary shades of gray. Then
she nailed me with the following, "We hate the gray. We hate where we are. We say, 'I don’t like where I am. I should be thinner or healthier or stronger or different.
I don’t like this gray. I want to be more white. So I am going to try to get more white. I am going to try to get more white.'
"How many of us have tried to get more white? It is ugly. It is not pure. It’s not white.We are all a shade of gray. And if we hate it, if you hate what you are doing, where you are and who you are, that is a door point for accusation for self-hatred and for drivenness and performance to get you whiter.
So the moral of the story is love the gray and trust God. That if your heart is open to Him, He will change you. You don’t have to do a thing. God will change you. When we try to do it ourselves, it gets ugly.
So be content in your gray where you are. Love yourself where you are."
"Love yourself where you are."
I chewed on that for three days. I knew I didn't love myself where I am. As I said, I am hard on myself. No matter what I do, I should do more. That is drivenness and performance and certainly makes no provision for resting in God (Heb.3) or fully trusting Him.
In the midst of that I got a devotional that included the following story: "One of the common soldiers was driving a mule that carried some of Alexander the Great's treasure. The mule was too exhausted to go on, so the soldier put the load on his own shoulders. Alexander saw the man staggering along, and he asked what was the matter. The soldier told him that the mule was too tired to carry the load, and that he was about at the end of his endurance too. "Don't give up now," said Alexander, "but carry what you have there to the end of the journey, then take it to your own tent, to keep for yourself."
I thought that is me. I am staggering under this, but all along God intends it to be a gift to me. I can look at the pain in the journey or His strength for the journey to bring me to His expected end. I choose not to give up.
[It is of] the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. [They are] new every morning: great [is] thy faithfulness. The LORD [is] my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD [is] good unto them that wait for him, to the soul [that] seeketh him. [It is] good that [a man] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lam.3:22-26
He has been faithful to send illustrations across my path to make it clearer.
I understand that there are possible spiritual roots of over 80% of all disease.
I understand that disease has no legal right to me unless I open the door through sin.
As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. Prov. 26:2
So when I became ill, I knew what needed to be dealt with and that there probably another layer or two that would be revealed as well.
So the journey began. The first block to healing is unforgiveness. More often than not, that is directed towards me. I don't give myself a lot of grace.
This week I listened to Mary Pat's CD, Biblical Insights to Food and Related Issues.
In it she says, Pastor Henry teaches that we are neither black nor white, but pilgrims in progress moving from black to white. So we are all in vary shades of gray. Then
she nailed me with the following, "We hate the gray. We hate where we are. We say, 'I don’t like where I am. I should be thinner or healthier or stronger or different.
I don’t like this gray. I want to be more white. So I am going to try to get more white. I am going to try to get more white.'
"How many of us have tried to get more white? It is ugly. It is not pure. It’s not white.We are all a shade of gray. And if we hate it, if you hate what you are doing, where you are and who you are, that is a door point for accusation for self-hatred and for drivenness and performance to get you whiter.
So the moral of the story is love the gray and trust God. That if your heart is open to Him, He will change you. You don’t have to do a thing. God will change you. When we try to do it ourselves, it gets ugly.
So be content in your gray where you are. Love yourself where you are."
"Love yourself where you are."
I chewed on that for three days. I knew I didn't love myself where I am. As I said, I am hard on myself. No matter what I do, I should do more. That is drivenness and performance and certainly makes no provision for resting in God (Heb.3) or fully trusting Him.
In the midst of that I got a devotional that included the following story: "One of the common soldiers was driving a mule that carried some of Alexander the Great's treasure. The mule was too exhausted to go on, so the soldier put the load on his own shoulders. Alexander saw the man staggering along, and he asked what was the matter. The soldier told him that the mule was too tired to carry the load, and that he was about at the end of his endurance too. "Don't give up now," said Alexander, "but carry what you have there to the end of the journey, then take it to your own tent, to keep for yourself."
I thought that is me. I am staggering under this, but all along God intends it to be a gift to me. I can look at the pain in the journey or His strength for the journey to bring me to His expected end. I choose not to give up.
[It is of] the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. [They are] new every morning: great [is] thy faithfulness. The LORD [is] my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD [is] good unto them that wait for him, to the soul [that] seeketh him. [It is] good that [a man] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lam.3:22-26
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