Trust in the Lord

We left Jacksonville seven years ago.
The Lord had given me a scripture:
And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. Mark 10:29-30
We came to Thomaston dead broke in the middle of bankruptcy payments. My illness and inability to work had quickly brought the roof down. I saw hope in Thomaston in the middle of nowhere.
I had already been delivered of multiple personality disorder and several other diseases like fibromyalgia and heart problems. But I knew if I was going to continue to walkout into wholeness, I would have to walk away from everything familiar.
It was hard, very hard to leave my family especially my mother. I felt like a deserter, but I knew I was fighting for my life.
I was misunderstood and shunned by family. Of course, when your family only knew you as mentally unstable, how could they see what the Lord showed me?
Ray was driving long distance at the time which made it easier to move, but he was only home about 36 hours a week. So I was lonely and doubted that I ever heard God.
It is in the pit that you find out what you are made of. In my case, it was not all good. I had a lot of selfishness that had to go before the Lord could get near me.
Out of fear I tried to control things. When I realized that tied God's hands, I eventually surrendered.
When we try to control a person or a situation, we are really saying, "God, I don't think you can handle this without my help."
What arrogannce! Pride goes before a mighty fall.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
This past year I have been learning to trust Him. All the while I thought I was trusting Him, but it was fear faith. Just like oil and water do not mix, fear and faith do not either. Getting the fear out of my life has been a process. I think I have it, but then another fear presents itself. Time Magazine had an article once that said there were over 4,000 fears. I certainly did not have that to face, but I sure had my share from fear of poverty to fear of man. One by one with God's help, I have picked them off.
I am facing an enigma of a health challenge right now. For the most part, I am fine. I am just tired. The difference now is in this pit, I do not have unwanted guests of fear, doubt and unbelief.
I am trusting Him and believing His Word that it shall be health to my navel and marrow to my bones.
Today alone I have had four requests from people with cancer. In two of the cases, it has already metasized to the bone. I can only share my hope and my trust in my Lord.
I have no words of wisdom, but I know God heals. He has certainly healed me of many diseases. He has spared my life more than once.
I must trust the Lord with ALL of my heart. I cannot lean on my understanding.