Murder with the Tongue

I have always had an opinion. I think that comes out of a need to be heard. When you are abused or neglected, you feel invisible as if you don't fit in and you have no value. So you do things to be noticed whether it is dye your hair orange or paint your body as a mural or as in my case, had a sharp wit and tongue ever ready with a comeback. A zinger.
Over the years it became an art form. It was a desirable skill in politics. What I did not recognize is that in the process, I was killing myself. I knew I did many things to destroy myself like overeating and drivenness and performance, but I never realized how my cleverness was destroying me.
"Cleverness," said Sir James Paget, "is a character of mind the exercise of which is so instantly and pleasantly rewarded, that the temptation to cultivate it is always present."
Years later in Christian circles, we hear things like, "Have I got a word for you."
How much is our cleverness drawn from the well of experience instead of fresh, living water.
I have been reading Oswald Chambers' book, Not Knowing Where.
It is just downright powerful and God has used to to "weed eat" some junk out of my life while I have been home this month.
I was reading about Cain and Abel and Chambers say in effect that no one can murder his brother who has not first murdered God in himself. It is the rebellion of his whole nature against God.
That really pierced me.
All my zingers directed at others, murdering their worth, were murdering God in me.
Daily we choose which kingdom we will serve. How can we serve a kingdom while destroying it and ourselves in the process?
This week I have repented and asked the Lord to give me a new tongue.
Pleasant words [are as] an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
I choose to eat this sweetness and believe my health will improve mind, body, and spirit.