Representing Him

Yesterday I received a devotional from Os Hillman in my Inbox that said, "We serve a jealous God. He is a God who will not share His glory with anyone. God sets up situations in order to demonstrate His power through them. He has done this since the day He created man. His desire is to reflect His glory through you and me, so that all men may know of His mighty acts and the glorious splendor of His Kingdom. The apostle Paul understood this principle: "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Cor. 2:4-5). If you do not see His glory being reflected through your life, then you need to ask why. He has promised to do so if we will walk in obedience to His commands."

So I left my computer and went to a routine cardiology followup appointment. When I got there the doctor had changed practices so he had none of my records. Great.
They heard a heart murmur and were alarmed. I reminded them, the doctor and the PA, that I have a birth defect. My arteries are not where they are supposed to be and one on them runs backwards. Remember they have NO records. Even though they have done an angiogram on me, I am sure they have seen a 100 other patients since then. The angiogram wasn't even necessary, but they didn't listen to me then either.
So they insisted that I have an echo RIGHT NOW. I acquiesced.
Now here is my point. Intellectually, I knew there was nothing out of the ordinary with my specific heart. My heart does have anomalies. That is true, but intellectually I didn't think there was anything new wrong.
However, when they changed my rooms, had me put on the gown, get on the table, tears sprang forth. Tormenting thoughts and even funny performance and drivenness thoughts came.
You see over a dozen years ago a caustic cardiac surgeon leaving my mom's ICU unit where she was recovering from open heart surgery, quipped, "You need one of those, but you are not healthy enough. You would never survive. In fact, you will probably never see 60."
Two years later I came to Be In Health and I was healed a number of diseases and syndromes. The month of my 60th birthday, I went back to that Heart enter and was given kudos rather than curses. I am 66 years old now.
1 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Now some people don't like to recognize fear as an evil spirit, but it sure isn't a happy one.
Laying on that table, it came knocking. I am giving God "what for"!
"God, don't you know I have to teach on fear this afternoon. How can I do that when I am going down under? God, this is ridiculous. I know better than that!
Then, oh well, it I have to go to the hospital, my Mary Kay bag is in the car. I am still going to make my goals this month. Guess I will have to sell to the nurses."
Why do we listen to these thoughts?
2 Cor 10:5 says, 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
6And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
They did the echo. Guess what? I was right. They were wrong.
Now I was mad. Mainly at myself for going down under that spirit of fear. So I repented and quickly recovered myself.
When I got back to the office, I pulled the devotion up again and re-read:
"My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Cor. 2:4-5).
I asked Him to teach the class. I told Him I was toast. You see I wasn't sharing my wisdom anyway, simply precepts learned through God's Word that are taught here. During the teaching I shared my experience with the cardiologist that morning. You see we have to be real, People.
If I fail. well, I am just a girl. If I fall down, I get back up.
The world has had enough preaching. It is time to be transparent. It's okay to fall down, but you have to get back up, brush yourself off and begin again.
Pastor Henry reminds us that three steps forward, two steps back is still progress.