It is disappointing when you have six children and several adult grandchildren and receive not even a birthday card except faithful Michael who saw to it that Sarah had one to give me. (Got FB posts instead. lol) Yet this year I WAS OKAY. I WAS NOT DERAILED. I am a good mother and Nana and if they choose not to acknowledge that on my birthday, well, frankly it means things more important on their plate.
One of the things the Lord had shown me this year is how I imprison people with my expectations. I expect people to do certain things and when they don't it is an open door for me to be bitter or my heart to be broken.
When I gave that up and recognized that Jer 29:11 says God knows the plans He has for them, NOT ME, a prison door opened.
It is like I have been protected in a bubble since Sunday.
The service Sunday closed with the Chuck Girard song, I Will and Ron told how he often sings songs to Jenny, his wife, who has Pick's disease. He has to do everything for her. I mean everything. He always has a good attitude about it. He told how he used to sing this song to her and she would smile. Then he asked them to play it again and imagine Jesus singing it to you. It says I will love you forever, and I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time.
Well, I just melted. It carried me all day.
When I heard I need you forever, I heard I have plans for you forever.
Went to the dental lab Monday without an appointment and he completely rebuilt my partial for only $80. A replacement would have been $1500.
Monday I went to Amazon and ordered an Amazon MP3 download and listened to it over and over.
I have always been tormented because I moved up here and left my family even though I knew it was necessary for me to get well. I always thought about moving closer. Well, Monday I thought, WHY?"
My whole church family sang Happy Birthday to me. My family that I birthed did not. I live where I am celebrated. That nine years of torment is gone.
Tuesday I listened to it over and over until we went to Social Security and when the lady said we would get no check for three month,($3,000 loss of income) I heard the Lord singing in my heart, "I will love you forever, I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time." I had complete peace.
Curstie brought Caitlin home and a cake she had baked for me. I thought that was so sweet.
I was singing that song as I got dressed for work this morning. As I walked across the deck to the car this morning, I thought of the Lawrence Welk show. (weird) I heard the cork pop and heard the Lord tell me (not audibly) to bring bubbles of joy today everywhere I go. I have never been happier.
Today someone asked Ray to look at some work but they had no money. He has probably done a thousand dollars worth for her already. Long story, short. he traded the work for a gas stove (our last light bill which is due Friday is $490) and a lap top. She was going to sell the stove for $200 and the laptop for $75. Home Depot had quoted her $800 so they were both happy.
"I will love you forever, I will need you forever and I will want you forever til the end of time."
These are presents that Ray could not have bought me for my birthday. But God could.
These are things that we had been praying about.
He has two moving jobs and a major window job coming in the next few months. They will net him no less than $1500 of the missing $3,000.
I think this whole mess is going to push me past my fears in Mary Kay and this is going to be my best month ever. The fear has been replaced with the Father's love. Plus I get to spill bubbles of joy all over them. The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Once again this week I taught Unloving and it was with a new level of freedom. Something new has been birthed.
I saw that Isaiah 61:1 says the Spirit of the Lord IS upon me. Not it is going to be on me when I get everything right. It is on me NOW. I need to appropriate it.
Friday a friend called and said she would like to have a Birthday Tea for me at a new Tea Shop that had opened.
Fresh pink long stemmed roses were waiting for me. We wore hats and had the most delightful feast of tea treats from raspberry scones with lemon curd to chicken salad on a mini-croissant.
As I was leaving to go to the tea, my neighbor, Mary, asked me where I was going. I told her about the tea and invited her to come. She declined. Yet in the middle of our celebration, she walked in with a vase of fresh cut flowers.
This extemporaneous show of love was a precious ending to my birthday week. Friends gathered to celebrate my life. I left with gifts, cards and lots of flowers. Flowers I can enjoy now while I live the day set before me.
Take time to day to tell someone you love them even if you think they already know it.
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