Still Being Formed

I can remember the years of "looking for love in all the wrong places." After an abusive first marriage, I wanted someone to complete me. I wanted someone to help me raise my three children. I did not want to travel this journey alone.
What I did not know is until I know who I am that love I was looking for could not complete me. It was simple. I didn't know who I was so I couldn't know what that missing piece looked like.
I lived with a fabricated personality. I lived my life trying to gain approval. I was whomever you needed me to be. All that brought was self-conflict.
I looked at the Proverbs 31 woman and all I saw was self-condemnation. I could never be that. Oh, I would try, but I would crash and burn. I was doing it in my own strength.
When you begin to know who you are, it gives you a quiet confidence.
Look at a pearl. A pearl is created in secret. It is formed from an irritation. I absolutely love that. It takes an irritation and begins to build. I would let irritations destroy me.
Unlike a diamond that is found in a mass, a pearl is formed in a shell and is singular and complete within itself. It is rare and not in plain view. It is under water.
We are to be hidden in the LORD, the fountain of living water. As we yield to Him and allow Him to form us. A pearl is formed of many layers. We can formed into His image as we receive line upon line, precept upon precept.
We are a people who want it and want it now.
That's not how God works.
God is more prone to use the crock pot than the microwave. As I rest in Him, He cooks down those areas of toughness that I created to protect myself. He reminds me of who I am.
I cannot count the number of times I have grasped a truth and run with it when I didn't have it deep inside of me. When you to do that truth becomes a weapon and does reflect His mercy.
I have been forgiven of so much. That should be how I live. When I come across a difficult relationship, I pray, "God, let me see what you see when you see them, because right now I just want to take them out of my life."
 If I wait for that revelation, I get it along with one of my past mug shots. It is rather humbling.
I am still being formed- line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.
I am not who I used to be, but, praise God, I am not yet who I am going to be.